He Loved Me First

Today is Father’s Day and although my dad doesn’t “believe” in Father’s Day, I still felt like his unconditional love for me deserves at least some recognition.

I really like this stanza from John Mayer’s song "Daughters":
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

It really is true that dads teach you how to love. I was also listening to the song “My Father’s Eyes” by Eric Clapton. I’ve always really loved that song probably because I’ve always grown up listening to Eric Clapton’s “Layla”. But today was different. I actually listened to the lyrics and although I’ve always thought that I could relate to this song because I have “my father’s eyes” I realized that it doesn’t mean what I’ve always thought it did. I read that Eric Clapton was inspired by the fact that he never met his father. This song has a whole new meaning for me now. Taking from the little biographical tidbit I learned, I now see the song as Clapton preparing to have a son and looking for guidance, but doesn’t have a father-figure as a model and is left lost and confused. He sings:

Where do I find the words to say?
How do I teach him?
What do we play?
Bit by bit, I've realized
That's when I need them,
That's when I need my father's eyes.

However, this is just my interpretation and the great mystery of music is that we never know the exact intention of the artist.

This song has made me realize how lucky I am to have such a wonderful dad. Both last summer in Guadalajara and this summer in Madrid, I have stayed with host families consisting of a mother and a 17 year-old daughter. It has made me feel so fortunate for having been raised by both parents and although they are divorced now I know their love for me has never diminished in the slightest.

My dad once sent me the Dutch short film called “Father and Daughter.” In 2000 it won an Oscar for Best Animated Short Film as well as 21 various other awards. It’s a simple black and white animation yet it holds a lot of meaning to me. In the beginning of the clip the father sails away. Seasons pass and the Dutch landscape changes and the daughter consistently returns to the spot where her father departed from. She gets older and has children, but still looks for her dad. This short film speaks to me metaphorically. Although my dad lives across the sea and I get older everyday, a daughter always longs for her father.



A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart

As the daughter in the clip, I am also growing older and now I have a new man in my life. But it’s funny because the other day I was lying down with Matt and I asked him to stroke his hand gently over my forehead. My dad always did this when he put me to bed and it has always comforted me. But my papa loved me first and that will never change…

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it's still hard to give her away
I loved her first

Marriage is still a long way away, but metaphorically the song shows how dads do have to give their daughters away to the future as they grow up and become more independent.

Steven Curtis Chapman sings a beautiful song called "Cinderella" about the relationship he has with his daughters. I especially like it because I love the fairytale theme.

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

Someday I may find my Prince Charming, but my papa will always be my king.

I love you, paps <3